While ringing in hospital staff's Tic Tacs, I'd casually ask, What do you do?

John Searle argues vehemently (and in my opinion cogently) against universal constructionism.

I submitted my documentation to the regional office, and they responded courteously confirming that I had submitted all the required paperwork and my file was complete. They would send it to the main authority in Tunis, and wait to hear back.

The waiters came and politely asked them, What will you eat, sir? And they got whatever food they liked.

However, unlike me, she (da wife) is a very nice person and knows how to answer politely (my default answer would have been none of your business)..

So my own hope is that Obama will not be dissuaded from trying to work with his opponents, to build consensus, and to deal courteously even with those whose views he may thoroughly dislike.