Two days before my big breath hold attempt, for the record, the producers of my television special thought that just watching somebody holding their breath, and almost drowning, is too boring for television.

What I mean is the world holds me so tightly the good and the bad my own follies and weakness that even this counterfeit Venus with her sham heat, and her bosom probably plumped with gel, so moves me my breath catches.

Two days before my big breath hold attempt, for the record, the producers of my television special thought that just watching somebody holding their breath, and almost drowning, is too boring for television.